Lot of news to catch up on, so I’m just going to bypass some form of witty (or not) introduction and just get to it.
Weis Drops Bombshells in Presser
Charlie Weis made two major announcements in his last spring ball presser.
The first of which was that Weis is petitioning the NCAA to give Brady Quinn and extra year of eligibility. This news comes somewhat on the heels of Cincinnati head coach, Brian Kelly, getting a sixth year of eligibility for DB Drew Frey and petitioned for USC transfer Vidal Hazelton to have the usual “sit out year” waved. This news, it seems, was the catalyst for this rather bold and slightly insane move by Weis:
“Well, you see the reasoning is really two fold,” Weis responded, “First of, I figure that if Kelly can make up the rules as he goes along why can’t I? Seems the NCAA doesn’t have too much of an issue with it, so why not. Secondly, it seems there was a rather large contingent that wanted Kelly to be sitting in this chair rather than myself. So I took at look at the two of us. What does he do differently than I do? I am simply giving the fans what they want.”
“Also think about it. Imagine Quinn throwing downfield to Floyd and Tate all day long. We will be unstoppable and get the National Title everyone wants to desperately.”
When asked if Weis would be willing to sacrifice the integrity of the school in order to pull of such a maneuver he simply replied, “The hell is wrong with you? Do you read what people write out on NDNation.com? No one cares about academics or head coaches that keep their noses clean — they only care about titles and that is what I am doing.”
As if that wasn’t enough, Weis then, in a very unprecedented move, announced the pep rally speaker for this years ND/USC game:
“I know we usually don’t do this, but I feel it would be an important boost for our fans and our team for this year’s game against USC. The pep rally for that game should needs to be something that can help put or team over the top because we are all sick of losing to USC. Therefore, we have invited President Barack Obama to speak at the USC weekend pep rally, which will be held in Notre Dame Stadium and he has accepted.”
When asked what business Obama had at the pep rally of a Catholic institution, Weis responded, “Well, he clearly has some ideas for the BCS and there will be a Congress investigation into it, so firstly, we need to make sure we protect ND’s interests in the matter. Secondly, I’ve been reading the Viewpoint in the past few weeks — let me tell you, this man hasn’t even said a word on campus yet and more people are calling for his head than yous guys were calling for mine after the Syracuse game. This should be a great way for everyone to completely ignore any of my faults on the football field while at the same time, getting our fans so riled up and pissed off that I can guarantee they will take it out on USC at the game.”
With a smirk he concluded, “I’m killing three birds with one stone. It is a schematic advantage.”
I’m not sure if Weis has completely lost his mind or if he is a complete genius. All I know is that I’m going to find it very funny as people write into the Viewpoint saying they will no longer go to a ND football game again in their lives and the 2009 season will still see a full stadium for every home game.
Brey Attempts to Explain ND’s NIT Loss, Fails Miserably
Mr. No-Tie was back at it again in his post game press conference, desperately making excuses for his team that failed to show up in a horrid loss that more or less summed up the ND B-Ball season in a single game.
“Well you know, when we were seeded #2 in the NIT tournament, I thought to myself, are we really the #2 seed? I mean, take a look at the bracket we were in, we easily had the toughest possible bracket schedule in the NIT and I just knew it would be a tough road. In fact, on the plane to New York, I called my wife as we were boarding and told her ‘0-1’, I’ll be home Wednesday.”
When pressed on how in God’s green earth that would cause the Irish to have the worst scoring first half in Brey’s tenure, he replied “Well, I mean that’s what happens with a tough schedule. It finally gets to you and wears you down. Our guys just hit the limit.”
Brey was also questioned about how he handled the comeback attempt — most notably why he didn’t have the Irish try to draw fouls when in the bonus with over 5 minutes to go in the game and why he called his last timeout with over a minute left and only 8 seconds on the shot clock (which turned into a shot clock violation). Brey answered “Well, we were down by 6 once we finally hit the bonus I think. At that point the answer was simple — two threes and we are tied up. Why drive the lane? You can only get two points on those free throws if you draw the fouls. I’d clearly want to try for that extra point no matter what every time down the court. As far as the timeout goes — we needed to take the time to plan a three point shot. We were obviously going to press a bad shot inside the arc at that point and I couldn’t allow that.”
…uh yeah, no real comment here.
Texas Ranger’s GM John Daniels to Make “Major Changes”
Upon hearing time and time again on how the Texas Rangers by far have the best farm system in baseball, John Daniels feels now is the time to make some “major changes” that will “define his GM tenure.”
“As I look at all the young talent we have in our system, I think to myself — why are we keeping that all to ourselves?” Daniels asked. “We clearly have a lot of room to make a lot of trades here. I know we have been saying we were rebuilding for 2010, but seriously, why should we wait any longer? I am confident we can make some major changes to get solid veteran talent in here to make a pennant run this year! These trades will definitely be something that will define my GM tenure as the man that was able to turn this franchise around.”
Rumored top interests of Daniels are Chan Ho Park, Reuben Sierra, Ricky Henderson, Kenny Lofton, and Byung-Hung Kim.
If anyone wonders why I feel so tortured as a Rangers fan — well, there you go…
Jerry Jones Receives Naming Rights Offers for New Stadium
It looks like Jones’ struggles for selling naming rights to the new Cowboy’s Stadium may soon be at an end. From a recent report:
Sources within the Cowboys organization have said that Jerry Jones is now considering a few different offers for the naming rights of his new stadiums. The top bidders appear to be Tampax, Midol, and Kleenex. The front-runner right now seems to be Kleenex as they have even put together a few different ads for the stadium. We were able to get our hands on one of the proposed ads:
Oh boy can’t wait…